what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
