i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
