i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
