i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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