just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize