how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
