Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
