I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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