if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
