Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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