so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
