some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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