Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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