eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
