My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
