She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
