I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
