Girls should come with a carfax report
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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