Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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