Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
