Porn is love you can see.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
