Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize