; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
