Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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