i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
