i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
