I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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