they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
