I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
