take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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