I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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