im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
