umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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