Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
