Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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