you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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