sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
