I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
