I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
