you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
