Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
