the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
