That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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