some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
