I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
