he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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