you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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