so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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