it's not cheating when I paid for it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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