I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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