Where did you get a picture of my penis
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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