Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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