Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
