ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
