Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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