Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
