just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
