How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
