So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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